365 days

I can't believe it's been a year, to the day, since I've blogged. I wish I could say it's because of something spectacular... a fantastic job, a whirlwind romance, a datebook overflowing with excitement, a trip around the world. Nope, it's none of those things, not even close. I can't say where the year went and if I tried to recap it I'd be yawning from boredom. What I do have to show for the year is a couple of extra pounds and a few more gray hairs; I don't mind the hair but the pounds have got to go.

I can't really say what brought me to blog today. I think it's funny that it really is a year to the day, I couldn't have done that if I'd tried. What I am going to try to do is blog with a bit more regularity. Maybe if I give some of my thoughts and hopes and dreams to the universe good things will happen. Maybe. I've got nothing to lose and I could use all the help I can get.

So there you have it, I'm back. No promises but I'll try my best.

Some people dream in color...

It was 1983 when I got my first pair of Chuck Taylors. Black high tops. If memory serves I think they were the only shoe I wore in the winter/spring of 1984. I do know that first pair cost about $12! In science class PJ used to write all over the white, he even used white out to cover the All Star logo so he could draw on that too. When the ink wore off we would start all over again with music groups or scribbles or the boy I liked. Points to anyone reading this who remembers who that was...

After that there was the natural high top, the lavender high, the natural low, the multi-colored high etc. I don't know if I wore any other sneaker through college. I had this great poster on my closet door it said 'some people dream in color' and it had a teenager sleeping with a bubble of Chucks above him. In college I went to San Francisco with my boyfriend wearing my favorite natural lows. When we were getting ready to leave he told me that he thought that the sneakers needed to stay behind. I was flabbergasted! But really, I wore those sneakers to death, so much so, the odor was starting to bother me. There was a service and they were left in Sarah's trash can. I don't think I had another pair after that for a long time. When they started surfacing again I knew it was time for another pair. About 6 years ago I decided that I needed another natural low. THEY DON'T MAKE THEM ANYMORE. What??? No more natural. So there I was putting on a white pair that now cost almost $40. What is the world coming to??? I don't wear them that often. They really aren't that comfortable. I never wear them without socks. But, when I do wear them, I'm some how a cooler person. I'm that 14 year old that hung out on the playground and smoked cigarettes and wandered through the streets of Newtown. I'm the 14 year old whose only care was...
What brings you there??

Somebody call The Doctor

As usual, too many days have passed since I've blogged. I have only one excuse, it's The Doctor's fault. My friend Jason mentioned in his blog a few weeks back that he came to musical theater later in life. I thought that was a great announcement to share with his readers, he found his way there through Glee. If Glee doesn't bring a smile to your face and a song to your lips then, I don't know... I've have come later in life to science fiction. If truth be told it's Lifetime Movie Network's fault. [Have you noticed that I'm not taking responsibility for anything in this post so far?] So, on lazy days when I would loaf in front of the tv I would see what Lifetime had to offer until I started to lose interest in abducted children, runaway teens, backstabbing college roommates, cheating husbands, and dying women. I stumbled one rainy day upon the SyFy channel. Now, anyone who is a die hard sci-fi fan would be the first to scream that the SyFy channel just doesn't count but we all have to start somewhere. For those of you who haven't been keeping up with my tv watching habits I am a big fan of BBC America. I like to watch the BBC news and I enjoy quite a few of their shows that come from across the pond. One cool spring Saturday evening I was drawn to channel 114. There, in his 11th incarnation, was The Doctor. Doctor Who. Now this Doctor isn't the one who was on PBS after the Electric Company in the early 70's, or on late at night in the early 80's at my grandmom's house. This Doctor opened the door to the TARDIS for me and showed me a whole new world. After only 5 episodes I needed to see what I'd missed since the rebirth of The Doctor in 2005. Luckily, or not, Netflix has the previous 4 seasons available for instant viewing. So I started with 2005 with what they call season 1 and got myself caught up. I watched 3 seasons of Doctor Who in about 2 weeks. I'm starting season 4 on Thursday because the first episode of season 4 is only available on dvd. I am addicted. I want to travel with The Doctor. I want to fight Daleks, watch the sun explode, be there when The Doctor regenerates, visit New New York. Seems though, that I haven't lost the little part of me that likes Lifetime movies because I sure do want The Doctor and his companion to kiss passionately as the TARDIS is propelled through time and space.

as it turns out...

I suck at blogging. I had hoped to write regularly, be witty, insightful, and say something profound. Clearly, that hasn't happened. Last week's Sunday Scribbling was about courage; I thought to cut and paste the Cowardly Lion's speech on courage, not very daring at all. A few times I've sat to post and realized I had little to share of any substance. So here are a few of the mundane things that are on my mind...

I got some new plants last week. I am very excited about the new arrivals, I got them in trade from a lovely lady in Utah. I have a pretty green thumb and feel a great deal of pressure to keep these plants alive; I hope it goes well. They are all stashed in places that receive good light but are blocked from the mouths of my four legged companions. Keep your fingers crossed for them. If anyone is interested in some plant cuttings let me know. None of the new ones are big enough but some of my more aged plants could be shared.

My car is filthy inside and out. I have little or no desire to clean it. I used to keep it shiny and bright but ever since a tree feel on it, and the insurance company refused to pay (act of god and all), I haven't felt much like taking care of it. It's bad and I care only a little bit.

I don't want a job. I love unemployment. I look for work almost everyday, there is nothing out there... I can't go on like this forever but I sure wish I could go on like this forever. The thing I hate about unemployment is it's an educational Catch-22. I have time to go back to school, which I would LOVE to do, but I'm afraid to take on the expenses because who knows when there will be work. The other thing that is bad about unemployment is that it has made me lazier than usual and I'm not eating as well as I should.

I like beer.

My computer is old, 6 years old. It is sloooooowwww. It does the job.

There are a lot of chipmunks in my neighborhood. It's May and I haven't seen them yet. Where are the chipmunks? I hope there isn't a correlation between the amount of vultures I've seen and the amount of chipmunks.

I've seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show more than once, more than a few times. In Manhattan, Berkeley, Philadelphia, that infamous midnight show... I told someone a few months back that I would never see anything at midnight except for Rocky Horror. Well, I'm here to tell you that I am about to eat my words. See, I made that statement before I read The Twilight Saga. Yes, I am here to admit that I have tickets to the 12:01 show on June 30th to see Eclipse. Guess what...I have tickets to the 12:01 show on June 30th to see Eclipse and I couldn't be more excited!!!!!!!!!! If you are reading this I assume you have seen that I added the countdown widget for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn so you know I am a fan. I'm going to save the Twilight discussion for later, it deserves it's own post.

I love Doctor Who. I didn't used to like Who but the new Who, woo!

I need to read a really good book. Most books I've read since Twilight have fallen flat, don't judge me...
I've read a couple of good books but nothing that I couldn't put down, didn't want to walk away from. I am open to suggestions if anyone wants to share.

I wish I could have a dog and a farm. A farm by the sea with a garden and a porch.

Blah blah blah, blah blah. The scary thing is that I could go on and on. Since I don't want to put anyone to sleep, unless that is why you were reading, I will quit now.

Sunday Scribblings

#213 Event  



I had been to my mother's over the weekend; both she and my brother had been sick. My brother was feeling better but my mom still felt pretty awful. I went home and by Tuesday I felt sick too, nothing major just bad, nothing felt right. As the week went on I worked a little here, a little there. My mom still hadn't gone back to work. I talked to my mom over the weekend and we agreed that we would go to our respective doctors. I called Monday and got an appointment for Tuesday. Mom called Monday and got in. Doctor told mom that everything seemed ok, just a touch of the flu, maybe a little anemic, do some blood work to be safe. Tuesday I go to the doctor, flu, can't go back to work until Thursday. Mom got her blood work back, Leukemia...

Sunday Scribblings

#212 Dinner

Sunday Scribblings gives the world a weekly writing prompt that you can think and write on in any way you see fit. This is my first week and the prompt is 'Dinner'. We'll see how it goes.

    friends wine salad bread

   comfort warmth laughter dinner 

    coffee dessert joy

I decided to go with a Haiku, I can't remember the last time I wrote a Haiku.

sticks and stones

I love cemeteries. I especially like old cemeteries, they feel so rich with history. I think about all the stories that lie beneath the land, all the lives lived. I love the headstones, the dates, the names. I love small family plots on the side of the road or the back end of a property. I like the metamorphosis of funerary art. Old New England headstones are my favorite. There are three cemeteries in the area that I visit a couple of times a year because I have family buried in each. I talk, I clear the debris, I leave a stone. Regardless of what might happen after death I somehow feel a connection to something greater than today when I walk through the mazes. I wonder, walking through, how many don't have visitors, don't have someone to clear the sticks or leave a stone. I think about all of the bodies interred below the surface without a name on a headstone for someone to even know their bodies are there. I believe that we each carry a piece of all of those in our family who have come before us; without them we wouldn't be here today. In my family the men worked mines, they made paper, they drove horses, they worked their land. The women kept their families strong, warm, fed, comforted and well. I believe that I owe them all a little something. I wish that there was a contribution I could make to the world to honor the contribution that they made to me. I think about the wars they fought, the children they raised, the hardships they faced, the journeys they made. I can only hope that the life I live begins to repay that debt...

you may say...

Something most don't know about me: I'm a dreamer. Everyday I have my feet firmly planted in my reality. Some days that reality is a good thing, some days not so good. The one thing it hasn't been in a long while, spectacular. So, in those quiet times throughout the day I dream. I put myself in different places, different circumstances and dream. What I need to find is the strength and courage to make those dreams come true. I can live a more fulfilling life, I don't doubt that. Not now though, I'm paralyzed by my self. I've hushed that part of me that goes out and makes things happen. I'm stuck. How do you get out of the things that have you mired down when you aren't really sure what they are? I need inspiration. I need an epiphany. I need an a-ha moment. I need butterflies.

A serious lack of talent

When I was in elementary school I played the cello and the clarinet. I hated the clarinet and only played for a couple of months before giving it up. The cello I played for a few years. I thought I was pretty good but it was 4th grade. I was a Brownie and then a Girl Scout for a few years. After that it was softball and yearbook in intermediate school. Softball I played for a couple of years, yearbook only 6th grade. In high school I got kicked off the cheerleading squad, supposedly for smoking in my uniform, I'm oddly proud of that! That is the extent of my participation in things. No dance class, no karate, no clubs, no art, no nothin'. It wasn't like there were things I wanted to do and didn't get a chance to, I didn't want to do anything else.

Fast-forward twenty some odd years and I have this desire to find something I'm good at; maybe a latent talent waiting to be discovered. So, I think about the things I like to do and it leads me nowhere. I love to sing but I can't carry a tune. I love to eat, but I don't enjoy cooking. I like taking pictures and I think I've taken some good ones, none to garner acclaim. I like to talk, I like to read, I like hanging out with family and friends, I like music and movies, I like being outside, and I love animals. None of these things take any talent. I have a couple of things you may call hobbies, they don't take any talent either.

How to discover it, how to find it, where to look, what to do...

I suspect the answer isn't sitting here on my couch.

Comcast is the devil...

Where I live Comcast has a monopoly, unless you want a dish. Just in the past few months Verizon has started laying their lines around the city and certain neighborhoods have it now. I have a double whammy: my apartment building is not designed so that we can have a dish and the management's contract is with Comcast. So, if I want to watch tv then I must bow down to Comcast. I've never really had any trouble with them, except for their exorbitant fees, until today. I have been paying for the obnoxious amount of tv package as long as I've lived here because I watch more tv than I care to admit. Last night I went to watch a movie on TMC and found that I didn't have it. I called Comcast, held for 14 minutes, spoke to a guy who said he isn't sure why I don't have it and can't help me. Call back tomorrow. This morning I called back to find that last week when my promotional offer expired there was repackaging and I no longer have TMC. I have every sports channel that they offer, that I never watch, because it is part of my package but 2 TMC channels are no longer available unless I want to pay more. I'm not going to do this, I don't need the channels but I am going to argue it on principle. I'm told that the marketing department may repackage it again when my current promotion expires. I move on...I got a mailing that said that they are now not charging for a second box that is non-HD. I inquire as to why I am being charged for my second box. The lovely woman tells me that I have an HD box. I know, but I also have a regular digital box. It doesn't matter. If you have an HD box then you are charged for all additional boxes. That is not what your detailed price list said. Explain please. She's got nothing, that is just how it is. As my mom would say: I thinked I just got f#&*ed with my pants on. Remember when you could threaten to take your business elsewhere and it meant something. Comcast should know that it's employee towed the line and never went off script. At the end of the conversation when she got to the part where she says 'thank you for choosing Comcast' I stopped her quickly and said 'don't you dare thank me, I wasn't given a choice.' If only I could give up tv...